So a few posts back, I talked about making a list of all the qualities that you hope to find in a future husband. ALOT of people bash this idea. It’s discouraging to hear sometimes, and people will definitely make you question whether or not your standards are too high. I’ve heard “By making a list, you are limiting God,” or “You’re way too picky and its because of all those things on that list why you don’t have someone,” and “That’s so unrealistic.”
Don’t give up and be discouraged before you even sit down and try. Let me explain to you why, in my opinion, I think it is beneficial to write out a list of things you desire to have in a husband:
- 1. It gives you a decent guideline to follow when you meet someone. For example, lets say you’re going out on a date this weekend with a potential “Boaz.” By referring to this list of qualities, you would be able to see if this is someone who could truly meet your needs, or if you are just going out on dates out of loneliness or desperation. It gives you a great basis of what kind of questions to ask this person. If you desire someone who is very involved in church and is great with his family, ask those types of questions, and if you get answers that don’t exactly fit the description as well as you hope, then he might not be the best match for you.
- I believe writing all of these qualities, desires, and preferences out will help you to see that this type of man that you desire is the man you DESERVE. We as women tend to settle in hopes that just a typical “okay” guy will change, and that we can make him into the man we want, but as we all know, that always leads to a lot of disappointment and heartbreak. I think writing these qualities down and revisiting them from time to time will help you remember to never settle for less than what you deserve, which is, of course, God’s best for you.
- I’ve heard MANY testimonials about women who had made lists of qualities they wanted their future Prince Charming to possess and prayed over that list and God eventually blessed them with a man who was all of the things they had listed and more.
So it is DEFINITELY possible to have the man you dream of, don’t give up on that no matter what others might say. You don’t want to settle for less and be miserable for the rest of your life.
As you make this list, really search your heart and let the Holy Spirit guide you.
This is just an example of the list I have made to give you sort of a guideline to go off of if you need help.
(I did spiritual things as well as physical appearance. You don’t have to do anything with physical appearance if you don’t like. Again, this is just my example to you just to help you out a little.)
- Loves God with all of his heart. Grows daily in a relationship with Him, and loves Him even beyond his love for me; Puts God ahead of me and everything else in his life.
- Interested in Courtship, not dating. Will be interested in the mere friendship aspect of our relationship and not the physical, romantic boyfriend/girlfriend dating scenario.
- Will respect my boundaries, and not do anything impure before marriage.
- Involved in Ministry in some way, whether it would be preaching, teaching, worship team, bible studies, etc.
- Independent; a man who can do for himself and think for himself; one that doesn’t need “babied” from a mother, but cared for by a wife.
- Talented; uses those talents for the Glory of God, whatever they might be.
- Likes adventuring & outdoors; hunting, fishing, shooting, nature walks, etc.
- Pursuer; will fully pursue me. I won’t have to go out and search for him, God will provide him in my path. I won’t have to force our conversations and our meetings, he will make the effort equally and pursue my heart.
- Submissive to God; letting God lead every decision in his life. Not making quick decisions or going off of his own instinct. Letting God also lead him in the right steps to take in our relationship and trusting God’s timing, not rushing a single step.
- A great leader; A great leader over our household, a church, a business,etc.
- Servant; Humble and compassionate enough to serve his friends, family, church, community, and those in need.
- Financial Stability; a man who has made wise financial decisions and who is good at saving. Who is faithful in paying tithes. A man who is currently preparing financially for our future.
- A business partner; Starting a business is my dream, and I hope that my husband will share a big part in that dream. I hope that he would work along side me and encourage me every step of the way.
- Hardworking; a man who knows the value of his work. A man that stays determined and puts his full heart and might into everything that he does. Every work of his hands he completes for the Glory of the Lord.
- Good with his hands; Good at building things such as furniture for our business, and is passionate about the projects he does.
- Loving Husband; one who respects me and holds me to equal importance. One who supports me, encourages me, protects me, guides me, and corrects me when needed.
- Father Figure; an amazing father to our kids. One who is firm in discipline but also loving and encouraging; desires to have a big family.
- Family Minded; Puts the needs and desires of his family before just his own
- Selfless; always willing to lend a helping hand to someone in need, and always looking for new ways to make someone smile
- romantic; who will go out of his way to keep the spice and romance in our marriage, no matter how long we’ve been together.
- Gentleman; opens doors and car doors, picks me up for a date, calls me first, sweet gestures
- honest; no matter what the situation is, he will always be completely honest with me.
- sense of humor; a man who can make me laugh and has a unique sense of humor that keeps our relationship fun and exciting.
- blue eyes; there’s something so beautiful about light blue eyes that I could gaze into forever.
- Wants to live on a farm/wooded area; Outdoors is important to me, and I hope to share that same interest with the man I love. I hope he desires for our family to live in a place that is private and surrounded by woods or farmland.
- Pure; Mind, Body, Heart, Spirit.
- Compassionate and Kind
- Has a great God Centered Upbringing- Grew up in a great loving house hold where God was the center; Raised in church; Has a mother and father who showed him the importance of family and the proper biblical family structure.
- Tall, but not too tall, cause after all, I am pretty short.
- Will value me as a wife, friend, and life partner and will do all he can to be the best he can be for God and his family.
That was my list, and I hope this gives you some guidelines as to what you could put on your list. Again, these are just what I desire, yours don’t have to be the same. I encourage you to really reflect on your desires, and search deep within your heart to find what you hope for in your husband. Hold it close to your heart and pray about them daily, you never know just what God will provide for you!