if you’re struggling with a hidden disease, just know you aren’t alone.
The last week, I feel like I’ve absolutely been fighting for my life.
Any sickness or disease is miserable to deal with, whether it would be something minor like the common cold or if it would be as severe as cancer, regardless, you’re in pain, miserable, and most likely have no motivation to do anything.
but right now, I just wanna focus on hidden diseases.
whats a hidden disease? It’s something that disguises itself and makes you appear as if there is nothing wrong with you on the outside, but on the inside, you feel as if you’re slowly dying.
theres a lot of diseases I would place in that category: anxiety, depression, low self esteem, and the one I struggle with greatly, fibromyalgia.
On the outside, I function. I try to get up for work every morning and get ready (even though it takes some time for me to fight my tired sore body to let me fully awaken), I go to work five days a week and feel chronic wide spread pain and stiffness all day long. It hurts, but I’ve gotten so used to it, and I just allowed it to stay there.
the worst part about hidden diseases, is that when you open up to others about the pain you feel, they look at you and say “well, you look fine and you act fine, so therefore there can’t be anything wrong with you.”
Everyday I battle to function normal. Tasks that any normal person can do bring pain and fatigue to me.
Nobody is understanding.
The other day at work, I had such bad pain flow through my arms and into my fingers and I couldn’t even move my hands. I was crying as I talked to every patient on the phone. I felt sick to my stomach because the pain was so intense. Eventually I started going numb and breaking out into a sweat.
I couldn’t function at my job. I couldn’t type or take calls because my hands wouldn’t work, yet I had to some how push through because work was not understanding with me needing to go home.
My Pain has always been manageable, but this week it has been an uphill battle, and let me explain why.
This week at church, I just started having a greater expectation in my heart. My spirit just felt alive inside of me.
i can’t explain it, but ever since Sunday, I’ve just known in my heart God was going to heal me. So I started proclaiming it.
well of course, that made the devil mad.
So this week, my pain intensity has doubled. I’ve been laying around, feeling sick, stiff and depressed. But even through this hard time of struggle, I still keep holding on to “I am healed.”
because even though I might look fine to others, and you might look fine to others, God knows what we struggle with. He knows our pain, he knows our struggles. I know that he will heal me and set me free of this awful disease.
whatever it is you may be facing,
no matter if it’s sickness in your body, pain, depression, anxiety, or whatever it may be, God does have your back. He can heal you, and he will.
I know what it’s like to not be able to wake up in the morning. I know what it feels like to not be able to walk up and down steps because your legs are so stiff, but you still take the steps anyways just to get some form of exercise.
I know what it feels like to be hurting everyday, and to be depressed and wish things were different. I know what it feels like to have anxiety over your future and how you’re going to function at work then next day.
but I also know this, Isaiah 53:5 says:
“He was pierced for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and by his stripes, we are healed.”
I know that he died so that I wouldn’t have to bare this pain. He died so that I could live abundantly. He died so that I could live pain free.
In my most pain stricken moment, I remember that verse and I hold onto that little voice in my heart telling me I will overcome and be healed.
what are you struggling with? Send me a message on Facebook, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Im here to talk and pray for you!